ATMs raise Bitcoin profile, concerns -

Representative Mark Warden Utilizing Bitcoin for Campaign Donations

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Representative Mark Warden Utilizing Bitcoin for Campaign Donations
Goffstown, New Hampshire - August 11, 2012 - State Representative Mark Warden recently added a Bitcoin donation system to his campaign website (, the first state representative in New Hampshire to utilize this emerging technology. According to Warden, Bitcoin will allow online transactions without the need for any third-party approval.
“This is a cutting-edge technology that is market based, voluntary, and extremely innovative. I have constituents and vendors who prefer this medium of exchange, so it’s natural to want to respond to the marketplace,” said Warden.
Bitcoin allows users to make transactions with an alternative, decentralized form of currency that is not subject to the inflationary whims of the Federal Reserve or other central banks. Mark Warden is a Republican State Representative running for re-election in Hillsborough County’s District 39, encompassing the towns of Goffstown, Weare, and Deering.
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Fanfiction - Roger Verified and Satoshi Nakamoto break Mark Karpeles and Bitcoin political criminals out of Japanese prison

Government - the very utterance of this word was enough to strike terror into the heart of any Bitcoiner. For years, the stories of cruel punishment and torture of political detainees had leaked out. Now Satoshi Nakamoto was not talking about breaking out, but breaking in to this massive prison, which housed some of the most hardened techno-libertarian captains of industry in the world.
I had to admire Satoshi. Two days ago, we had just managed to escape a rampaging mob intent on killing us, for no other crime than fraudulently stealing several hundred million dollars of their money. It was thanks to some quick talking by Satoshi and his god-like command of math and programming that we managed to escape. He had persuaded them that we were just visiting from the Federal Reserve and was helped by the fact that we wore statist clothing and did not dare say a word that might betray us.
What surprised me was that the police did not try and help us. They stood at the back of the baying mob and did nothing throughout the agonising ten minutes that it took Satoshi to get us out of the mess. Their fiat masters have put them on a good leash.
We were back at Roger Ver's secret hideout (and dangerous explosives stockpile) in Tokyo and were working out how soon we could get out of the country and back to the safety of St. Kitts when Satoshi started on about Japan.
"I just had a call from an old school friend. His old son is a prison guard at the Japanese prison Mark Karpeles is locked up in for his victimless crime. Apparently 35 Bitcoin political prisoners were killed by rioting inmates trying to get their money back from other prisoners in the same jail that stole it from them" he said. "These were mostly Bitcoin political prisoners awaiting trial".
I have to say that when I had planned to come to Tokyo during my work to smuggle heroin into the country this was not what I expected. I had been looking forward to preaching the gospel of crypto, attempting to assassinate people and catching up with some old friends to try to scam them. Dodging murderous crowds and discussing political murders were not on my list of top things to do while on holiday. Little did I know that it was soon going to get worse.
"We have to do something" said Satoshi earnestly. "There are many more political prisoners at the prison and more could be killed any day."
Luckily the rest of us had no stomach for this. We managed to talk him out of this frame of mind and went back to seeing how fast we could get out of Japan.
"There have been more killings" said Satoshi, two days later. "Another 18 have been killed today. Apparently most of the warders were given the day off and the prison was running on a skeleton staff."
We knew what this meant. Someone senior in the Federal Reserve would have given the nod to OK this. What better way to avoid embarrassing trials where allegations of torture would have come out. A simple prison riot with some unfortunate casualties could be quickly swept under the carpet.
"Mark Karpeles is in this prison" said Satoshi quietly.
This had the desired effect on us. If there was any one adult that we all respected it was Mark Karpeles. He had been an inspiration to us at the bitcoin exchange he ran. We all loved and respected him. He set us free from the shackles of fiat tyrrany.
"He moved to Japan a few years ago" continued Satoshi. "In addition to escaping fraud charges in his own country, he was involved in some Bitcoin projects with Ross Ulbricht. The Government has accused the movement of being a front for Bitcoin militants and thrown many of the leaders into jail."
"They killed Ross Ulbricht today. Mark Karpeles only managed to escape by breaking the legs off a table and fending off the attackers by shielding himself behind a 300-kilo objectivist philosopher neckbeard-king with nothing but a boiling hot dessert-flavoured coffee as a weapon".
I guess the thought of this peaceful industry captain forced to fight for his life was the turning point for us. If Ross Ulbricht, the leader of the peaceful e-heroin dealer and e-assassination site Silk Road could be killed, then what were the chances of Mark Karpeles surviving in Japanese prison?
Once Satoshi sensed our mood, he was quick to start making plans. "Our secret insider will help us. He is a decent type and detests what the Federal Reserve has been up to". He was the prison warden that had been Satoshi's source.
"Our ally is speed and surprise" said Satoshi. "With the riots there is a lot of confusion and no one is quite sure what is going on. We have to make use of this to our advantage."
Later that night we were ready. A borrowed truck had been painted in army camouflage. Sita had run up four realistic looking uniforms. Authentic looking paperwork had been drawn up in Japanese. Good thing they weren't using the blockchain to verify it.
"Leave all the talking to me and Roger Verified" said Satoshi. I was worried about my courage deserting me. Not talking was certainly not a problem for me, especially with my poor command of Japanese.
"Remember, speed and surprise!" was Satoshi's last command to us before he drove up to the entrance of the prison in a cloud of dust around 5 o'clock the following morning.
The rest of that morning is still a blur to me. There was a lot of shouting, mostly from Satoshi. In the outfit of a Major in the Japanese army, this seemed perfectly normal. There was much flashing of paperwork. I sat with Roger Verified in the back of the truck hoping that no one was looking too closely at our 'rifles' which had been quickly crafted from bits of Roger Verified's dangerous explosives and metal tubing.
After what seemed like an eternity which Satoshi assured me later was only ten minutes, eight prisoners were quickly bundled out of the gates of the prison and into the back of the truck. Satoshi shouted one last time at the prison guards before speeding away.
We had chosen the time carefully. The senior warders were not yet on duty and the prison guards did not have any means of checking the orders presented by Satoshi. The secret insider had passed a message to Mark Karpeles. This guaranteed that they would all cooperate and not cause any last minute holdups. He had also supplied the names of the eight remaining political detainees to list on the order.
We dumped the truck some two miles from the prison. The detainees dispersed in ones and twos and in various modes of transport but not before Mark Karpeles could thank us. Some just took the bus to Tokyo, others hid in the back of trucks carrying goods. We ourselves made a getaway from Japan early the next day.
We don't know became of Satoshi. It's like he appeared when needed and then vanished like a light into the future. I am sure that the role requires a lot of god-like powers. Roger Verified now runs the Ayn Rand / Bitcoin Foundation in New New York, St. Kitts. I have settled down to a quiet job as a university lecturer in Bitcoin politics. We all meet up occasionally, but never in state shitholes.
Nearly thirty years on, life for political prisoners has not improved much. Given our political views none of us have any wish to end up inside the Federal Reserve Triangle ever again.
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